In working with so many women in their healing process, I began to see a pattern emerge. For some
reason, I haven’t seen men develop these same situations, only women. Men have their own unique things.
Now in this article, I am not talking about
our normal practice of giving children special chores to help with the family. If done well, that can only
encourage a child to feel more connected, as a real vital member of the family with pride and responsibility in what they
can contribute well. No, this has a different flavor altogether.
If you are a woman, you may find some answers for yourself here, and
men may realize some things to help them understand some women better. We women can be such a mystery,
but what amazing revelations appear as we untangle our own personal mystery.
GET DONE IN!
November 17, 2015 & April 3, 2012
a small girl trying her very best to take care of her mother’s emotional and sometimes physical needs!
What an extremely heavy burden for a person of any age, especially a young child.
Just when a child needs her mother’s fully formed energetic and emotional body to pattern her own growth on,
and when she needs the very nourishment of a mother’s love, kindness, bonding, and support, the daughter is subtly but
powerfully asked to be her mother’s crutch, her savior.
mother may be insecure, poor, starved for love, feel abandoned, checked out on alcohol, drugs or may be absent due to partying,
work, or even gone to the ashram all the time. Or because the mother feels inadequate, she subtly passes
her own self- judgment and non-acceptance onto her daughter as self-projection—“You are never OK!”
Consequently, a few things can happen:
The child may be left to clean
up the mother’s messes so-to-speak such as cover for the mom’s absence or missteps, feed the mom or the whole
family, keep the house, protect the mom from a partner situation such as an abusive partner, many partners, no supportive
partner, and more. Danger can certainly lurk in the mother’s relationships with men.
Other siblings may even be left in her care. She may be prodded into producing higher and higher
grades, etc., but nothing is ever enough.
Consequently, the daughter is left
to fend for herself both physically and emotionally with no guidance, no nurturing to feed her heart, or no protection in
this strange and scary world, or no true acceptance of who she is. Insecurity, anyone?
The result is that the daughter basically feels that she has to take care of her mother,
because without her mother, there is no life support. With no life support, the child DIES—basic,
simple and totally fear inducing—both overtly and covertly in a way that persistently controls her from the sub conscious.
In this anti-bonding process, the mother can’t fully connect with the daughter, so the daughter cannot fully
connect with the mother, with herself and with being here on Earth. A habit of disconnection is created.
Depression, anger and despair can ensue.
Now, this is not thought out
logically at all. It is simply the way that a good number of girls have come up in life, with a lack of
nurturing, and a constant fear that they are inadequate—they can never sufficiently fulfill their mother’s (life-giver’s)
needs, and/or they are unlovable because no matter what they do, or how very good they are, they are never fully appreciated
and loved for who they are. So, there is a very strong energetic program that keeps that child—who
is now grown into a woman blindly hooked into that very same routine within her own sub consciousness. She
simply keeps trying, trying and trying with the same result—not much. This energetic
program keeps her tied into a constant electronic current that won’t let go, just as when you stick your finger in an
electrical outlet, you are stuck in the injuring process.
So, not only does
the child-now-a-woman continue in her own self-defeat and inadequacy, but she continues to find other people or projects to
support and put her full supply of energy into those who may not return that full exchange to her. It is
as though she is addicted to this behavior, even though she may become financially, emotionally and physically drained.
Or she may actually excel greatly because the fear chases her to those ends, although her accomplishments may strangely
be less than satisfying to her.
Then her automatic story lines may boil down
to, “No matter what I do, I can never be fully loved or appreciated,” or “I am exhausted, poor and overworked;
ease and prosperity are unbelievable dreams,” or “Down deep I am always fearful of some vague disaster or abrupt
change that may occur at any moment,” or “I am angry as hell that nobody can recognize me for who I am, much less
love me,” and more. Well, you get the idea.
can really see why Yogi Bhajan told us that a woman should not have a child until she is emotionally, physically, mentally
and financially secure and balanced first.
HOW TO TURN ALL THAT AROUND.
1. Be your own detective! Become aware
of what you are doing and why. Oftentimes these habits are passed down through the generations.
Catch yourself in the process and change your course in that very moment.
Heart Breath www.SoulAnswer.com/heart_breath.html that takes you to neutral and begins to free you from the grip of that old program.
Use the wealth of kriyas and meditations that we have in Kundalini Yoga to neutralize the electricity
of that repeating program such as “Conquer Self-Animosity” www.SoulAnswer.com/self_animosity.html , or “Eliminating Thoughts You Dislike” www.SoulAnswer.com/eliminating_thoughts.html , or my favorite habit breaking mantra “Gobinday, Mukunday, etc.” www.SoulAnswer.com/gobinde.html , and so many more.
what could be if you were actually connected to yourself and being here on Earth! Explore the full range
of riches of your possible life and let the reality of that grow on you—not with neurotic clutching, but with a slow
breath, neutrally allowing that vision to materialize, even as you allow the vision to change and grow over time.
d. In your mind, meditation, emotions and body, feel the
very real presence of Adi Shakti, Divine Mother holding you and loving you. I assure you that she is always
with you offering you her love. All you need to do is deeply accept it! Quite amazing.
e. Consciously, neutrally within your heart
breath meditation--not from your mind, forgive the barriers to you actually loving yourself. Forgive your
mom, your relatives and other people responsible for your upbringing, and your ancestors. And most importantly
forgive yourself for buying into that story.
Then begin to examine the great things that you have learned in the course of your very unique life.
Appreciate what you have been through and how you have triumphed in great and small ways. I bet
you will be amazed.
g. Be grateful
for Who you are in every way! Don’t leave even the tiniest portion out. Don’t
judge, just appreciate and get comfortable! Yum! That is how you ease into your ease.
What a journey to self/self LOVE!
This is the way that we grow way beyond our limits. Just have fun and BE WHO YOU ARE!
Lots of Love,
Copyright Siri-Gian K. Khalsa, www.SoulAnswer.com, 2012
You have my permission to reproduce this
article in print or online as long as your keep the copyright with it, both large and readable.
YOUR VERY OWN SOUL MATE!
December 27, 2016 & October 8, 2013
Yes! We all need pure LOVE, pure HEART to stabilize
and heal us. We NEED it!
need the intimacy, the reliance of a stable force in our lives. We need unconditional LOVE, no matter how
much we screw up. We need someone to tell our troubles to and to help us think out stuff—like plans
and goals, what to have for dinner, where is my career leading. And we need someone to hold us and give
us the kindest LOVE that we can really feel whenever we need it. Someone who will never let us down, no
matter how crummy we react. Someone who will never blame us because we don’t quite live up to their
expectations, someone who will not demand more than we can give, someone who always has our very best intentions at heart
and will guide us—no strings attached by the impeccable, dependable, trustworthy guidance that they offer.
This is total intimacy where you can say anything and not raise a fuss with them, no blaming, judgment or exasperation.
And they will catch us to heal our wounds when we are down, without judgment, only acceptance and direction on how
to solve the whole situation.
And while we
are at it, how about someone who will guide us to our greatest prosperity—that is not necessarily to get jillions of
dollars, but to lead us to pure security that we can depend on and that guides us to grow into our greatest potential?
How about someone who never puts their needs above our own? Their attention is always on us.
How about someone who has the coziest heart and can totally fulfill our own heart?
Loving this already? Ready to sign up for that “match.com”
that will take you to that “perfect person” in an instant?
Well, yes, you guessed it. There is one catch!
This “someone” doesn’t have a body. Well, they
actually do, but it is your body.
I bet you
know Who I am talking about already. Yes, it is your own Soul, that very core of you that is the Master
of your own life in the very best way possible if you just let It. This is your Best Beloved!
No, I am not kidding you. All you need
to do is to be introduced to this most extraordinary Being that is always available for you, and you can actually FEEL your
own Soul’s most incredible, cozy, dependable and yummy love for you if you just take a chance to connect and feel It!
And then continue to interact with It and follow Its precious guidance. If you do, believe me, you
will change for the best over time, you will find fulfillment, you will live your passion, you will be entirely supported
and best of all—you will know deeply, in your heart of hearts that you are truly, completely LOVED!
Now, I am not saying that you will never meet hardships.
Oh, no. Challenges are totally intrinsic to this life of karmas that we are living out.
But I am saying that with that kind of support, love and guidance that Soul will give you—as you listen and follow,
you will heal through all that old pain, and feelings of being deeply alone or feeling confused because no one is helping
to point the way. In fact you will grow in wisdom, ability and ease. But of course,
you have to do your part, which is to pay attention to Soul and to follow It, no matter what.
So, of course the place to start this great relationship is in your stillness.
That means your meditative, relaxed, neutral condition. You can easily get to that “home of
Soul,” which is more of a condition or feeling in your consciousness. It feels expansive, timeless
and has no worries. It is quite a wondrous “place!” And it is totally
real. But when your mind and emotions are clogged up with worries and confusion, it messes up the road
to your Soul place.
this is true! Many, many people have found this. This is not something that I am making
up. Therefore, the most often heard direction from Soul is “RELAX!” That
is how to best reach Soul. Relaxing your mind and emotions is how you dial Soul’s phone number.
Doing your strong sadhana (spiritual practice) every day is the very best way to solve those annoying or hurtful roadblocks
to accessing Soul, so you can be much more in touch throughout the day. And then, very consciously doing
Heart Breath www.SoulAnswer.com/heart_breath.html in the moment is an incredible way to quickly change your energy to Soul frequency. It
is important for you to be aware of how this Heart Breath is feeling. That will take you to Soul’s vibration.
But if you only do the mechanics of Heart Breath and sort of dare Soul to show up, that doesn’t work too well.
This is a copacetic relationship that we are setting up here.
Then just subtly, using your mind and your “feeling,” just move over to this calm, expansive place
of pure power potential where your most sweet and loving Soul is. If you need some love and support, just
allow yourself to feel that from Soul. “Allow” is the operative word here. Believe
me, Soul is always there waiting for you just to tune into It. Feel that sweetness, that shoulder to cry
on, that supporting hand, that strength to go through turmoil. Yes, It is right there for you as you tune
into that amazing subtle pipeline from Soul that provides all that is!
And if you are looking for the most extraordinary advice, just ask Soul and there you will get it.
Soul can communicate with you through words that kind of sound like you are remembering what someone said to you, but
you know it is Soul because you have that very real, but subtle “just know” feeling. Or you
may be guided through feelings in your body, through some visuals that might show up in your mind when you have that feeling
that lets you know that you are in Soul. Or perhaps something that someone says or that you read really,
really jumps out at you and you again have that subtle feeling that it is Soul. Or how about just sinking
into Soul’s loving arms? FOLLOW THAT, because it is totally REAL!
Soul’s communication may occasionally seem strange or irrelevant to
you. Or you may disregard it because Soul is not taking you to where you expected to go, or to what you
expect to get. Or you may think that Soul is giving you directions, maybe in a crisis that sound too simple
to be applicable such as “Expand,” or “Relax.” But please take the word of tons
of people who have actually partnered with Soul for years now—Do what you are guided to do! That
is how you miraculously reap the most powerful rewards such as peace of mind, kindness in your own Being, wonderful things
happening for you from out of nowhere, and so much more!
Soul will take you to heal those blocks that may be keeping you from your own greatness. So,
please take every challenge as the greatest opportunity to heal and grow into the very Best and the very most Loved YOU that
there ever could be. That is what happens when you take your own Soul as your very Best Beloved, and trust,
But if in the moment you need
help but you have been hijacked by your obstreperous mind and emotions, just shout to Soul that you need help now! Do Heart
Breath and don’t forget to just surrender to what actually happens next because most likely Soul is not going to provide
what you expect, but what you actually need to help you. This is a most remarkable process.
Now, sometimes Soul doesn’t answer right away, just
because it is important for you to continue to relax and to trust. So, in this case, keep up while you
observe closely everything that is happening. It is kind of like waiting in the duck blind until the ducks
fly over, seeming to arrive out of nowhere! Then you will understand the whole picture and what has developed.
And if there is something that in
your heart of hearts you would love to be or to have, just tell Soul about it, and then forget about it. That
is so that the Creative Divine can do its magic unobstructed! But if you nag Soul over and over again,
that only confuses the Creative Forces, and keeps you holding tight to any of your subconscious blocking. Instead,
allow yourself to be totally receptive to what Soul brings on Its own time. Realize that Soul actually
knows what is best for you, much better than you do. So, relax and trust that Soul will deliver just what
you need and what will lead you to that peace, satisfaction and security that you are looking for. Believe
me. You have to try it to experience what an amazing relationship with Soul is. And
that happens when you turn over the reins of your Life to Soul to live in its love and protection.
This is why Eastern scriptures often speak of this amazing
trusting relationship as the “Soul Bride” who allows her Groom—“Soul” to take care of her and
love her at every moment. She does her part by relaxing and following the lead of her Groom/Soul.
And then “He enjoys her on His couch and she becomes dyed a deep crimson!” How romantic
Now, I wanna tell ya.
That is really the meaning of Soul Mates! You have your Soul Mate for sure. Just
relax so that you can tune into your Best Beloved on the most subtle, but most powerful level. This is
your incredibly loving Mate who is everything.
human partner can be expected to love you fully and unconditionally at every moment to completely support and heal you.
So this extraordinary relationship with your Soul that fills you up. Soul truly completes you.
And in this way, Soul gives you the ability to love another human fully, without strings because you are no longer
really needy. Soul has you covered so that you don’t demand so much from the other person, which
can really destroy any human to human relationship. Instead, you are steady and full so that you can freely
give your love and support to the other person while you enjoy the full exchange of kindness and love between you.
Now isn’t that the best kind of Soul Mate ever,
and It is yours for the accepting!
Siri-Gian Kaur Khalsa, www.SoulAnswer.com/relationship.html , 2016 & 2013.
You have permission to reproduce this article in print or online as long as you keep this copyright large
and closely associated with the article.
easily print out this article, please go to www.SoulAnswer.com/relationship.html .
People Without Bodies!
October 25, 2016
& October 1, 2013
By the way, all of this information comes from what I have experienced. Siri-Gian
Ghosts. That's what I'm talking about.
Over the last few months, I have come across
so many folks who have bodies, but who have such fear, grief and worry over those who have left their bodies behind.
you may know, Yogi Bhajan told us that someone who has passed over takes about 17 days to complete their business on Earth
before they move on. This is their most active time. However, we have found that they
are still available long after that--pretty much a lot of the time. For instance, in meditation you may
find that the consciousness of your departed grandmother who loves you and wants to protect and support you whispers some
encouraging words during your meditation.
My advice is, don't freak out or dismiss it. Rather
believe it and interact with her for the sake enjoying her wisdom and her loving support. So, here a few
categories that I would like to address for you.
WHEN SOMEONE "PASSES AWAY"
that even though these folks' bodies are gone, they are not lost to you. So, please don't go into a dark
and gloomy mode. Now, I understand that if this is your spouse, your child, your parent, your best friend,
etc., you will naturally go through a time of mourning or grief. This is a very natural process of rebuilding
your energetic self because a part of that person's energy was totally interactive with yours and now it is missing.
Of course you will feel that loss! But as you let God, Guru, the Light, Soul, Guru
Ram Das take care of you and your loved one, as you fully surrender to this most monumental transition, you will rebuild that
extraordinary part of yourself but with the wonderful infiltration or "color/scent/feeling" of your loved one's
imprint. We can only be grateful for that blessed and loving re-growth. But we need
to allow that to happen by not desperately hanging onto our loved one, but by allowing them pure freedom on the deepest level,
that is the Soul level that is reached in deep meditation.
Now for a while, maybe a few days after they leave their body,
I have found that the newly "freed" person continues to recuperate from the condition that they were in just before
they left. For instance, if a person died from cancer, they don't seem to have the pain, but they are really
exhausted for awhile. In that case, I would certainly suggest sending them energy from your pranayams (yogic
breathing exercises). Heart Breath is a wonderful and effective healing pranayam. www.SoulAnswer.com/heart_breath.html
If they have been in an accident in which they left quickly without much warning, they seem to remain in shock.
So, the best thing that I have seen is to contact them and just explain what has happened. Love
them, do your Heart Breath and let them know that they will be OK. You may communicate how you love them
and will miss them, but never try to hold onto anyone or pull them back to Earth for your own security or fear for them.
That sort of messes up their process and yours. Be very, very supportive of their journey.
they need to talk things out, please do that with them. You do that by first going into Shuniya--neutrality
when you meditatively move into the space of your own Soul, and then while remaining in your Soul, move to meet their Soul.
I call this a "Soul to Soul Date." Please treat this as a very normal thing, and don't
be afraid, only neutral and loving. They are the same personality that you knew in a body, but now they
just don't have a body any more. Also in this condition, they seem to have a greater "scope"
of understanding, and are not so attached to their former points of view such as concentrated anger, disappointment, hurts,
etc. And if they had any mental illness, they seemed to be freed up from the chemical imbalances that caused
those difficulties, so they are much easier to communicate with. Therefore, much healing can happen when
you are relating this way.
Now, if there have been differences between you, this is the perfect time
to deeply forgive your person and yourself--not from you mind, but from that deep meditative and neutral space.
This is not to say that what happened was OK, but rather by this deep forgiving you are deeply dissolving that stuck
energy between you as you realize that all was a karmic set-up, that is the Truth. By really doing this,
you can both can finally "move freely" without being tied down by any guilt, recurring blame, confusion, hurt, etc.
that might otherwise continue to haunt you. Then you are both free. It's OK. Then you can allow unconditional
love to flow--really much better than holding onto any kind of grudge or pain, don't you think?
there is nothing more scary or unnerving than when a loved one commits suicide. If their actual motivation
for the suicide was from such things as unsolvable depression or hopelessness, their being would be vibrating at a very low
energy level. They seem to get stuck in a kind of sticky mud puddle where they don't have enough energy
to pull themselves out of it, or to "see" or understand very well. And mostly they don't have
the ability to move to the Light on their own. My feeling is that this is what is meant by being "Earthbound".
So, instead of getting lost in your own despair or hopelessness, which certainly doesn't help them,
begin praying for them with such a generous, forgiving and loving intention. Get all the family, friends
and acquaintances to pray for them as well--no matter what denomination everyone is. Feeling sorry for
your person, for you or for anyone associated with your person is not productive. Prayer is!
Prayer actually lends the prana or Light energy to them to boost their vibration. That frees them
from being stuck and makes it possible to communicate again.
Then converse with them in the same way that was described
above--the Soul to Soul Date with listening closely to them, talking things out, forgiving, and finally the return to the
Light as described below in the AKAL section!
occasionally, you will come across other "disembodied spirits" that you have not known in their lifetime, but that
somehow make themselves known to you now. They may be lost or Earthbound, perhaps having no clue what has happened, or even
trying to continue what they were doing when they had a body, but their actions just keep repeating. Don't
Instead, here is a little secret. Even the darkest and most scary being or force
is actually looking for Love and the Light! Oh, yes. So, most folks in this condition
are basically harmless and just searching for the next step. You can communicate with them as described
above. And then skip to the next step of sending them to the Light as described below in the AKAL section.
They are usually so very, very grateful to you for helping them in that most profound way.
But if you find
that energy to be dark and threatening, the first thing that you do is to call on Baba Siri Chand who will definitely protect
you and help you with this great transition. You can see more about this at www.SoulAnswer.com/baba_siri_chand.html
. Then in your meditation, when you feel that it is the proper time, continue with the next step below.
is the greatest gift that you could ever give anyone! And you can do this without having gone through any
of the preceding steps already explained.
This is the part where you actually help your bodiless person move back
into the incredible Creative Force for some great R &R before they have to jump back into their next body.
Actually they go back into timelessness of a very high vibration.
We are so very lucky to have the technology
of "Akal." That is a mantra that means Undying. You can read more about it
and how to chant it at www.SoulAnswer.com/akal.html . As you chant it, a great white Light opens for your
person and they can actually move into that other, much higher vibration or dimension. You may have to
ask them to look up or to look for it. And if they don't go into the Light automatically, you may suggest
that they move into it. What a very incredible blessing that is for both you and them!
drop the fear as you understand that the life of the Soul is a real continuum from one lifetime to the next through this karmic
play as we gain knowledge, vibration and finally real Union with the Infinity that we actually are!
Lots of Love,
Copyright: Siri-Gian Kaur Khalsa, www.SoulAnswer.com/relationship.html ,
2016 & 2013.
You have permission to reproduce this article in print or online
as long as you keep this copyright large and close to the article.
To easily print out this
article, please go to www.SoulAnswer.com/relationship.html , 2016 & 2013.
Who Loves ‘Ya, Baby?
June 14, 2016 & Sept. 3, 2012
question really is, “Do you love yourself, Baby?”
It can seem like the most elusive thing in the world—this sense of being loved.
“If only I had a partner or a friend who really loved me, then
I could turn my life around. Everything would be worthwhile then. I would feel secure.
No one could hurt me again. I could do really, really wonderful things with my life.
I wouldn’t feel sad and alone anymore. People wouldn’t reject me and my ideas all the
time. If somebody loved me, my life could finally turn around like I saw in that award winning movie a
few months ago. I would finally feel supported to the point that I would have the power to make something
so precious in my life. Where is that person who can come to support that elusive thing called abundance
for me—and them, I suppose? Nobody seems to care at all for me. I am so depressed
and alone that I could cry/die.”
Just think about this a minute—whether this is your full time rap, or you just get into this head-trip occasionally.
Be really open now, neither above or below these ideas because wherever we are on the scale, I bet that most of us
get tripped up by this at some time or other.
If someone were down and depressed,
would you go running towards them to spend your life with them? Or would you run away fast?
If we are feeling so bereft in feeling love not coming
to us, how can we actually give strong love and support to someone else? What I have seen is that in these
cases, the “love” that is given is actually a hook that subconsciously says, “If I do things for you, if
I say I love you, then I expect you to give your life, your kindness, your support to me, whether I trip up or not.
I expect YOU to make ME happy!”
You can absolutely count on that one to fall through every time. And when it does, are you surprised?
Do you blame yourself or them? Are you entirely puzzled? Do you find this happening
over and over again in your life? Hmmm.
Well, Baby there’s a better way, you know.
There’s only one person in this world who can truly love you to the core to the extent that you feel
cared for, supported, kind, able to tackle great projects like abundance, beautiful appreciation for your own self, gratitude
for having come to this planet for this life’s sojourn, having the courage to move through great challenges, and more!
“My Soul Mate?” you may reply?
I have come across so many folks who are looking for just such a Soul Mate to support them and take all their troubles
But I have to tell
you. That’s a pipe-dream, Baby! Because without a firm grip on your own self worth,
some feeling of fulfillment within, your precious love and appreciation for your own self/Self—no matter how goofy you
think you are, you just can’t connect to another person at that deep love level, no matter how hard you try.
What may feel like love at this level can actually arise from neediness that leads to co-dependency. Oh,
my. How very, very unsatisfying! How long can that kind of relationship last when “your
needs” are never met. That is your deep-seated human need to be truly loved, accepted and supported.
I invite you to make a study of that within yourself and others.
“But then,” you say, “how do I ever drag myself out of this pit of hopelessness and helplessness?
I can’t remember a time when I didn’t feel like this to some degree—sometimes more and sometimes
less. I need someone or something to support me because I really can’t do it myself.
I have tried, believe me!”
I almost hesitate to say because it is so simple that you might throw up your arms and run away retorting, “That’ll
never work!” But here we go anyway. Here’s a list for you to try out.
your meditation, bow at your own feet every day. It seem absurd to you at the beginning, but just do it
over and over again. Don’t you know that this body and mind houses your own Infinite Self, your very
Soul? And the actual experience of your Soul’s Presence within you feels like LOVE with no strings
attached. Do Heart Breath www.SoulAnswer.com/heart_breath.html to ease through your disbelief and fears and ALLOW yourself to be with your cozy,
precious, divine Soul that is entirely yours!
might like to listen to Krishna Kaur’s amazing classic song “You Are My Lover, Lord!” http://www.spiritvoyage.com/mp3download/One-Creator/Krishna-Kaur/ALB-004434.aspx that so beautifully expresses your very real relationship with your own amazing Soul
if you just turn your face and heart to your own Soul, your very Lord! It has inspired me for decades and
it so simply describes that most real relationship between you or what we call your “every day self”—your
ego, emotions, patterns, perceptions, beliefs, etc. and your true God Source, your very Soul. Let the words
really soak into every particle of you, and give every hurt, every pain, desire, every confusion to your most incredible Lover—the
only One who gives you truly unconditional love at every, every moment! There can be no more truly intimate
You are my Lover, Lord.
Yes, you are my Lover, Lord.
you are my only friend.
You are my mother
and my father, and you are my sister and my brother.
You’re always right beside me to teach me and to guide me.
You never leave me alone, no matter where I may roam.
You don’t care if I am right or wrong.
For to you, Lord I belong.
Be sure to passionately, purely give into your
ever-loving Lord—always! Your first and last resort—always! www.SoulAnswer.com/soul.html .
- Meditatively and attentively always spend “quality time” in the arms of your
precious Soul every morning before sunrise in your daily sadhana. Discuss your concerns, give over every
hardship to let your Lover handle EVERYTHING, and trust, trust, trust that all is taken care of, even if you can’t see
it in the moment. And of course, relax to the point that you can allow yourself to absolutely melt into
the most pure and unending LOVE that can come pouring into you from your most unlimited and cozy Lover! You
might have to deeply, meditatively, and neutrally—giving up any blame, forgive those automatic interior voices that
may habitually tell you that you are worthless, undeserving of anything, that you might have been better off if you hadn’t
come to Earth, etc. Those are the recurring but very false (believe me!) recordings that keep you so very
unconnected to your own precious love, to your true self/Self acceptance, and from truly engaging in this Life, which creates
such a dungeon of persistent pain. Try this amazingly subtle but powerful meditation over time called “Breaking
the Mask!” www.SoulAnswer.com/break_mask.html .
Lots of Love,
Copyright Siri-Gian Kaur Khalsa, www.SoulAnswer.com/relationship.html , 2016 & 2013.
You have permission to reproduce this article in print or online as
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To easily print out this article, please go to www.SoulAnswer.com/relationship.html .
Experience of Death
October 18, 2016 & July 9, 2013
10 years ago, I was working at my computer when I suddenly began to cough hard, which hurt my ribs. Since
that was really annoying, I ran off to my acupuncturist who fixed me up. But the next day, it came back
Two days later, I got the call.
I learned that my former husband had passed away in his car, homeless in February in Colorado. He
had had 3 other wives after me, and had a mental disorder. When he was taking his medication, he was a
fine professional landscape architect. But then he had disappeared, because presumably he had quit his
medication. This had happened before, but this time no one could find him for months.
Aha! I put two and two together and realized that
it was his spirit who had come to take refuge in my lungs after a probable really bad case of pneumonia. I
wasn’t scared at all, but I was annoyed. Immediately I put my foot down and ordered him out of my
body with a promise to help him if he stayed out. Then the process began.
Now, I can’t say that I actually saw him with my eyes, but I surely
could sense him and his movements, and I could intuitively converse with him. Yogi Bhajan says that everyone
has intuition. I believe that most anybody can do what I am going to describe, or at least some part of
it, so don’t get upset if this happens to you. Chanting “Akal” www.SoulAnswer.com/akal.html is an amazing help to those who pass over, and especially in this case where he was
evidently quite depressed as part of his mental disorder. We asked the whole family to pray for him in
their own way to raise and energize his vibratory rate to “get him moving” because he was obviously stuck.
Then back to the acupuncturist we went! All
during the treatment, he was kind of hovering over me, just exclaiming at how beautiful the swirling colors were.
He vowed that when he came back, he would be an acupuncturist just to see those dazzling colors. Those
colors were my energy flows within my aura that were being manipulated during the treatment.
Pretty soon, I heard that an Indian Sikh family was going to have a reading
of Sukh Mani Sahib (Peaceful Mind) in commemoration or their relative’s passing the year before. He
was looking forward to it. But when the time came, I tried to beg off, saying that I was really too tired
to go. But he wouldn’t let me drop my promise to him. So, off we went.
He seemed to thoroughly enjoy that very special, calming and powerful vibration!
As you know, I do healing work. So, during this time I actually
got to work with him on his mother and father “phobias” as Yogi Bhajan used to call them. Without
his physical body and the chemical interruptions that caused his mental disorder in life, he was able to move through the
healing so much more quickly.
you might find that either or both of you need to very deeply and meditatively forgive one another—no blaming or judgment.
This process is way below the mind saying that all was OK after all, because it wasn’t. It
is deeply meditative process that recognizes the pure karmic play of the whole relationship and you want to clear it all up
so that you can now move on with freedom and without the pain. That deep forgiving process will dissolve
those energetic “bungie-cords” that keep slapping you in the face with the same old hurt, guilt, hard feelings,
etc. over and over again. Thank God!
All of this went on for a couple of weeks. I could feel that he was changing, and certainly
not as engaged in this earthly level as before. Finally, one day I “saw” him as a genderless
“luminous egg” as Carlos Castenada would describe his vision of pure Souls. At that time, he
said that he was now leaving to be born in someplace like Estonia or Latvia as a woman to help a troubled man.
Immediately I yelled, “Oh,
don’t do that!” because that is what I had done in this life and knew it was no picnic. But
the feeling of the response was very clear and solid--unchanging. There was no picking out where he wanted
to go or what he wanted to do next. It was simple, with no question, and was firmly set. It
was his own Soul that was going to play Its next life karma for Its own reasons in this very certain way. It
was all part of a majestic and very pre-ordained karmic plan. He had been the troubled man, and now he
was going to care for a troubled man. What perfect symmetry!
Later on, I learned that Yogi Bhajan says that when a Soul—a human consciousness
passes from its body, It stays around this earthly plane for 17 days finishing up business with their family, friends and
more before they move on. And in retrospect, it was about 17 days that we did work together until he truly
passed on to the Light and his next life adventure! Now, I can’t say that he was reincarnated at
that exact time because time on that subtle plan is not like our time here on Earth. But I certainly trusted
that it would happen in its own time.
want you to know to not be afraid of death, or of meeting anyone without a human body. We are all simply
going through this transmigration together. And we can actually kindly help each other along.
I would truly advise chanting “Akals” www.SoulAnswer.com/akal.html , and lots of Heart Breath www.SoulAnswer.com/heart_breath.html to help one heal and move more and more into the elelvated Light frequency.
Also, it is so grand and wonderful to introduce them to Guru Ram Das’ incredibly loving arms. Nothing
better, nothing cozier!
Now grieving is a
very real part of change and separation that may continue on for a while if you were close to the person who passed.
But this is a natural process of letting go, and then rebuilding. So, if you are feeling grief,
please also do Heart Breath for yourself. Be content that your person is moving on with their karmic adventure.
You may even need to forgive them for leaving you. Then open yourself to new and wonderful ways
to fulfill your own destiny to make new connections—new friends, new and greater activities, deeper association with
your own Soul, love for yourself, and healing your own ability to love others as yourself. What a game
card of challenges and changes our Soul gives us to experience over a lifetime so that we may choose to grow mightily through
the trials that It schedules for us!
of Love to you all,
Kaur Khalsa, www.SoulAnswer.com/relationship.html , 2016 & 2013.
have permission to reproduce this article, whether in print or online as long as you keep this copyright large and near this
To easily print out this article,
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Bless Who? Are You Kidding?
16, 2016, May 15, 2012
This morning, after I did my early morning sadhana,
I fell back asleep. Then as I was coming to waking consciousness again—before I opened my eyes, I
found myself going down a check list of blessing each person, each event that I am aware of. You were included
in that list, Dear.
Then I blessed myself. What a profound
experience of kindness and energetic power that was!
Every thought, every
intention that you have carries with it a very real energetic projection that is both directed to the object of your intention
as well as to the whole human collective consciousness that we all partake in.
So, if I am judging, holding a grudge, or bad-mouthing another person or people—even though I don’t say
a word about that to anybody, I am still sending them nasty, ugly energy that is felt by them and that will reinforce their
continuing doing whatever I am judging them for. In that way, I would actually be cursing them as well
as myself to stay in that ornery energy or frame of mind. And I am feeding that into the consciousness
of all humanity at this moment. Yuck! Whatever our outlook is, it is mingled with the
very dynamic pool of all other human consciousnesses.
for instance, on our Wednesday morning TeleTalks with Baba Siri Chand www.SoulAnswer.com/talk.html , he often instructs us to bless the “other” political party among others. That is not because
we should be some kind of “do-gooders,” or overlook what is going on, but rather our neutrally blessing them actually
helps them to come to their own heart and their real Truth. How very delightful! I am
not sending my opinion to them, just the “breeze of the Infinite” fully, neutrally, humbly and in great compassion.
If you want to change the world, start by changing your own inner awareness to Bless,
Bless, Bless every person who “doesn’t get it,” or who is in deep trouble. Then don’t
forget to bless the ones who are so kind and loving. And don’t forget those who are in-between as
well. As a matter of fact, how about blessing every person and event that moves through your life without
making any judgment about whether anyone deserves this precious gift or not, including yourself. Do it
not just as lip-service from your mind, but deeply from your meditative breath, your flowing energy.
In our high-minded way, we would often like to change the world, and bring about world peace. I
assure you that if you Bless everyone and everything constantly, you will change the world! And you can
notice that first in your own world.
Here is the recent story of my friend
Harimander Kaur from Alaska. She was helping a local surveyor by carrying around and holding that pole
with measurements on it for him. He evidently lived up to his reputation as the king of bad-mouthers as
he complained heavily about everyone and everything. Before, she said that she would have taken it all
in and felt like a huge victim of it all. But on this day, she chose to do the blessing of Heart Breath
www.SoulAnswer.com/heart_breath.html for him constantly. And she also did that Hawaiian healing practice of Ho’opono pono.
In your mind, you kindly tell that person over and over again, “I love you. I am sorry.
Please forgive me. Thank you.” And she was totally neutral about the whole
That evening she was more than surprised when he called her and
apologized up one side and down the other for reporting all that negativity to her during the day. She
could only be amazed and grateful for the powerful, but most subtle healing that had occurred in his consciousness!
Extending blessing and healing makes the actual problems much easier to solve—magically
even. No longer are you part of the problem, but you are deeply involved in the act of solving the problem,
not from your mind but from a much deeper, mystic place of transformation. As you remain in this blessing
state, staying fully grounded, the best answers will come and the energy to move the situation will flow.
You see, there is always a wonderful cosmic reason that we come in contact with each other. So,
the question forever is, “Will I bless and quietly offer healing to every person and situation that I encounter, no
matter how stinky or personally offensive I judge them to be?” If you don’t do that—if
you simply continue the nastiness, how will the world—especially your world change?
Now, don’t forget blessing yourself!
you like to receive that most incredible love and support, too? This morning I found
that blessing myself was so very powerful, sacred, supportive and deeply satisfying. And of course, Yogi
Bhajan told us to bless ourselves for good reason.
now try this blessing with Heart Breath and Ho’opono pono for yourself. Why not live in a constant
state of self blessing? Watch how you talk to yourself. Are you imposing heavy judgment
or blaming yourself? Just turn that around by acknowledging yourself as God’s blessing, being comfortable
being you, even with all of your perceived “warts”—understanding that this is just where you are on your
spiritual path right now. This path is a process, where the notion of “perfection” is actually
a real trap that knocks you off the path of Truth!
The most amazing thing
is that instead of that self-comfort making you complacent in working on yourself, it actually frees you up so that you can
better move forward on your journey. Hallelujah!
As you consistently Bless, Bless, Bless both yourself and others, you find that you live in a most subtle and elevated
arena, and your life as well as the life of those around you change for the better in surprising ways. The
very real power of softness and kindness flood in. In this way, Dear One, you become a healer of your world
and the greater world. Isn’t that why you came here for this Earthly adventure anyway?
Love You, Bless You!
Now would you please post your
questions or comments about this article at our Soul Answer Tribe page at www.Facebook.com/groups/soulanswer . Thanks, we want to hear from you!
Khalsa, SoulAnswer.com, 2012.
You have permission to publish this article
either online or in print as long as you keep this copyright associated with it, and keep it large and readable.
YOU CAN’T FIX ‘EM!
March 29, 016 & April 10, 2012
This message is for the very compassionate people of the world. That includes healers, teachers,
family, friends and all who are affected deeply by the suffering of others.
we understand the experience of pain from a primal level, we truly do not want our loved ones to suffer those dreadful pangs—whether
that be confusion, anger, guilt, physical pain, depression, despair, victimization, trauma, loss of love, separation and abandonment,
and so much more.
And since we know how very much it all
hurts someone else due to our own compassion, empathy or subconsciously trying to right a similar pain or need in ourselves—even
from a past lifetime or from our ancestral habits, we would like to keep our dear ones from enduring their deep pain.
Now the way that we often do this is by taking on the pain of another,
by absorbing that very real energetic substance like a sponge in the hope that the other will be cleared of the pain.
But what really happens is that both of you are now suffering. No pain is diminished by this action.
And you may even take complete responsibility for their coming back to full and happy functioning, such
as “If they don’t improve, you are a failure.” What noble intentions. But
believe me, in this mode you are not helping them, nor are you engaging your real ability to help them. What
a waste. So, let’s take a look.
first problem in taking on their hurt within you is that you only double the difficulty. Now you have two
people in deep pain instead of one. And you, the helper/healer may actually become debilitated and sick
by sharing so fully in the other person’s thorny or painful energy. So, when you are weighted down,
how can you actually have the full strength and clarity needed to help your friend, loved one, client, etc.? So,
the first lesson is to not invite the other person’s suffering into your own heart and energetic system.
This is not a mean thing to do, but rather it is the most helpful route for both of you.
Rather, do dedicated Heart Breath for them, which is an essential healing breath, and let your kind, loving and compassionate
energy neutrally flow through you with this breath and then flow through them. Stay in prayerful intention
for their improvement and their healing. This is extremely powerful. Clear and strengthen
your own energetic system with profound daily sadhana (spiritual practice). Don’t weaken yourself.
Do take time to rejuvenate yourself, and be sure that you don’t break your own self in your pursuit of kindness
for another. Find opportunities to strengthen and enliven yourself. That can only benefit
Do listen to them, stay connected with them, sympathize with
them to the extent that it may be healing for them, love them, care for them, help them figure a way through this impasse,
but don’t dictate, which would further disable them. As they agree to it, do what is needed for them,
bring in more help, organize what is appropriate—cooking, washing, transporting, get them to the doctor or therapist,
etc. Keep them and yourself safe, which may occasionally go beyond getting their agreement on the course
But always remember that instruction on an
airplane--that if the oxygen supply quits, causing the oxygen masks to drop down, the parent puts on the mask first so that
they can continue to help the child. If the parent can’t function, the one who needs help can’t
But be sure that when they are able, you show
them how to take care of themselves, and back off from what you have filled in for them for the time being. Plus
staying neutral enough to allow them to regain their own functioning helps you not become co-dependent on them--that is needing
to be in charge of their disability to find meaning in your own life.
I am sorry to say that there are also a couple of caveats here. Some people need strong care in the moment,
and can be helped to improve. But there are some who subconsciously use their own debilitation to draw
compassionate people to serve their emptiness on an unending basis. You don’t want to fall into that
trap. Then there are those who genuinely need others to help them throughout the rest of their life—such
as those who become sick or challenged in mind or body, or become increasingly feeble, such as the elderly. And
there are all kinds of combinations of the above situations that you may need to untangle in the moment.
Use your intuition—that is guidance from your Soul to determine what is really
happening, and respond accordingly. If situations are approached from compassion, some boundaries can help
everyone stay healthier by creating balance and at times enabling the person in crisis to help themselves, and thus empowering
them. Just establish the boundaries with kindness and by serving the highest good. Don’t
wait for frustration to make you a screaming, depressed or wimpish wreck before you enforce drastic rules or desert the situation
entirely. But in some severe cases, you know that “tough love” boundaries are the only thing
that can bring about balance and self-responsibility, such as with those who have lost themselves to their addictions over
and over again.
Finally, here it the true heart of the matter:
Every Soul has picked out their own path of growth and healing in this lifetime for very
important reasons. See the explanation of Karma at www.SoulAnswer.com/karma.html . Healing from our difficulties is such an important aspect of moving along on our evolutionary or spiritual
path. So, therefore these challenges must be HONORED! They can’t be taken away
from us by someone else energetically assuming them into their own being.
But on the other hand, some of the greatest acts of love and kindness, our own evolution can come about by connecting
from our pure hearts to those who genuinely can use our assistance and healing as we truly give in any way that can help them,
and which is sourced in our true, loving, infinite and Divine neutrality. That is such a great beauty of
being truly HUMAN! This path of kindness, of seva/selfless service is such an extraordinary path to the
Of course Jesus said that “No man hath greater love than one
who lays down his life for another.” We have seen this kind of great self sacrifice over and over
again in spiritual history—Jesus himself, Guru Arjan, Guru Har Krishan, Guru Teg Bahadur, Guru Gobind Singh and his
armies, and so many more. But they did so in full, neutral integrity of the Beings that they are.
They did not do so in their need to be fulfilled by becoming a martyr. That was their final act
when nothing else would remedy the situation. On the other hand, the psychological habit of constantly
martyring one’s self by any means handy can actually be caused by post traumatic stress disorder, fear, cultural standards,
or spiritual ego masquerading as love and spiritual high-mindedness. The difference is such a thin line,
but one that is worth discerning with the help of your sweet Soul.
blessing to join with another in their healing, and to serve them so beautifully from your own neutrality and compassion.
Just expand yourself by avoiding the pitfalls while you elevate yourself and others. Nothing better!
Lots of Love,
After I wrote this article, I "accidently"
found a wonderful article online about "Compulsive Fixers." Not everyone fits this category, but this is great information.
Copyright: Siri-Gian Khalsa, www.SoulAnswer.com, 2012
You have permission to reproduce this article online or in print as
long as you associate this copyright with it so that it is large and readable.
Is Your Relationship Going Stale?
September 16, 2008
relationship goes stale, what do you do next? Are you out the back when commitment from your long time
partner is not in the offing? When sand hills build up into mountains between you both over time, do you start looking for
new territories to discover? When he's not "perfect" in every way you can think of, do you feel really let down
and consider shunning him?
When relationship goes stale, what do you do next?
Are you out the back when commitment from your long time partner is not in the offing? When sand hills
build up into mountains between you both over time, do you start looking for new territories to discover? When he's not
"perfect" in every way you can think of, do you feel really let down and consider shunning him?
Well, of course the answer is not the same for everybody. So, please never accept any pat answers--ever! Your
Soul is your ultimate Guide! (Click here and here to learn how to tune into your Soul's direction.) But here are some ideas that you might like to give some
complaints about relationships can be that he no longer engages in supportive conversation or joint spiritual practice--not
touching each other's depth; his attention is elsewhere; she seems closed and unreachable. In any case, these
leave the relationship dry, no juice is flowing and the partners feel drained and dead in this most important area of their
It seems that each one's misunderstandings and differing ways of interacting with the World creep
into a once bright and hopeful relationship to cloud it. When those differences build with no resolution in sight,
the walls go up and the lights dim. You wind up with a shell of a relationship that may feel itchy, or perhaps
even toxic to deal with.
The problem is that hearts are not meant to be a sacrifice. They are meant to
be open, not closed. Hearts are what engender the Whole of Life. And not having your heart flow can feel like
a slow death.
It seems that each one's misunderstandings and differing
ways of interacting with the World creep into a once bright and hopeful relationship to cloud it. When those differences
build with no resolution in sight, the walls go up and the lights dim. You wind up with a shell of a relationship
that may feel itchy, or perhaps even toxic to deal with.
The problem is that hearts are not meant to be
a sacrifice. They are meant to be open, not closed. Hearts are what engender the Whole of Life. And not having
your heart flow can feel like a slow death.
the first point is, healing is in order! But don't misunderstand. The healing starts with the one who wants
it--not in trying to change the other person. It means that you are first looking for access to your own Soul,
to letting your Juice fly, to being really Who you are! You can never ask anyone else to do that for you, and you can't
blame anyone else because you are not expanding. That is up to each individual to take charge of the Great Expansiveness within
So, first get on board with your Soul! Feel it, love it, enjoy that very most precious of relationships!
Your Soul, your God Self is the real source of your Juice, your beauty, your effervescence! Use
your Sadhana--your daily spiritual practice, try constantly repeating a great mantra for change, do something you love doing--
perhaps hiking in the wilderness, snuggling with your kids, creating art through sound, painting, sculpture, poetry and so
on. Get out of your own cage! Take responsibility for yourself rather than blaming the relationship.
So, first get on board with your Soul! Feel it, love it, enjoy that very most precious of relationships! Your
Soul, your God Self is the real source of your Juice, your beauty, your effervescence! Use your Sadhana--your
daily spiritual practice, try constantly repeating a great mantra for change, do something you love doing-- perhaps hiking
in the wilderness, snuggling with your kids, creating art through sound, painting, sculpture, poetry and so on. Get out of
your own cage! Take responsibility for yourself rather than blaming the relationship.
Next, begin to unearth the depth between you. Once you are truly, fully enmeshed in your own Soul's Light, then
while staying within that precious Energy, relate to your partner's Soul. Oh, yes, you can do
it! Start by doing it in mediation. Extend the energy of your heart to the other person--both in mediation on your own, and
then try doing this together--relating through your Soul to the other person's Soul, using your long deep breath to power
that precious Energy and see what happens! And also do this when you are front and center with them in your everyday life.
Try heart breath all the time! It is truly a miracle worker for you and for your partner.
everything to become courageous so you can talk from your hearts with each other. Listen to your partner's feelings, their
anguish, their hopes, happinesses and their fears and respect that. Humans are amazingly complex. See their life from their
own viewpoint. Honor this gift called a relationship enough to be honest, open, balanced and non-judgmental with one another.
Forgiveness is the way to heal wounds--not saying that the offense was OK, but so you can let go of the recurring hurt
which then allows you to heal. And be sure to express yourself to them fully, with heart and without demands or blame as well.
Look for occasions to help each other, including opportunities to soften and trim your own ways to better support your partner
and most importantly your relationship. Make a regular habit of this, even if you need to keep regular
dates with each other to be sure it happens.
Forgiveness is the way to heal wounds--not saying that the offense
was OK, but so you can let go of the recurring hurt which then allows you to heal. And be sure to express yourself to them
fully, with heart and without demands or blame as well. Look for occasions to help each other, including opportunities to
soften and trim your own ways to better support your partner and most importantly your relationship. Make a regular
habit of this, even if you need to keep regular dates with each other to be sure it happens.
And you can try repeating
the amazing prayers that help turn these relationships around, or even attract a relationship--Adi Shakti for your lady partner and So Purkh for your man. Do them 11 times per day and watch for results! Or Mera Man Lochai for connection with your Beloved-whether that is with your Soul or the beloved Essence of your mate. And for a miracle-any
miracle, try Dhan Dhan Ram Das Guru 11 times per day. All of these tap into the Universal Mind sound current that creates Creation. You too can participate in
this extraordinary flow!
However, my Dears, if you have tried all this, but your spouse has contracted the dread and ingrained
habit of abuse towards yourself and/or your children, this is the time that Yogi Bhajan said that you should depart. You
must stand for the worth of yourself and your sweet little ones and not participate in that degradation. Be Who you are, the
Light of Life!
However, my Dears, if you have tried all this, but your spouse has contracted
the dread and ingrained habit of abuse towards yourself and/or your children, this is the time that Yogi Bhajan said that
you should depart. You must stand for the worth of yourself and your sweet little ones and not participate in
that degradation. Be Who you are, the Light of Life!
any case, relationships are outrageous situations! They don't often seem to allow that coasting on great high feelings
that so many of us expect from a relationship at the beginning. They offer challenges in which we get to face ourselves and
our own shortsighted expectations. We get to plumb our depths to merge with our own brilliant Soul and find the
same in the other person. They give us the opportunity to seek and create profound coziness. That is where God
lives, you know! Don't forget, we're looking for One Soul in two bodies. That takes heaps
of patience, and way deep respect, plus dropping our limiting expectations and then pile on oh, so much unconditional love!
That's it, my Sweet Ones.
yourself to participate in the reality of Love at every moment, no matter what. That's what relationships
are for! And if the relationship is over, that is no excuse to drop out of love with your own Great Self, your Soul. After
all, that's when you really need that Greatest of Relationships more than ever!