From the Troops!

Non-Attachment Heals the Holidays!

By Atma Karam Kaur

Dec. 21, 2011

I am discovering how non attachment works for me.

This time of year can be really stressful for folks. My family knows the buttons to push to get family members to react. I spoke with my sister Jane yesterday. She helped my parents get back home yesterday. When I spoke with her, she had enough of my Dad. Dad is in one of his moods of being very critical and controlling.

I ended up going out to lunch with Mom and Dad and that was quite an experience! I had a lot of fun. Jane had clued me into how dad was. He even called me on the phone (unusual for him, he tends to think we should call him). It was very easy for me, I have never done anything right in his eyes (or to correctly put it, he has always criticized), so why start now! That takes much pressure off!

Much drama going on and Dad likes to manipulate and use guilt etc. It does not work too well on me now. It is not that I do not care, I just know that all I can do is the best that I can in each minute and I make plenty of mistakes along the way and those mistakes are great learning tools. It also helps that I am just a maker of mischief.

I was having fun while talking to the parents as they were getting into their van after lunch. I was stomping on the crunchy snow (much more fun than popping those bubbles in packaging material). It felt cool--the noise and the crunchy

feeling. Mom commented that I would never grow up, which is true! I have too much fun looking at life with child-like wonder.

I went to the store with them and had fun texting my sister Jane, and it is just plain fun! I could be judgmental and get aggravated by their behavior, or I can have the adventure of the lifetime and just find ways to amuse myself and have fun no matter where I am or what surrounds me.

My Birthday as y’all know is Monday, and Dad was wanting me to come and do some stuff such as finding their Christmas tree and decorating it since as a child we did that on my birthday and not before. My parents did make sure there was something special about my birthday and that we could not put up the Christmas tree until Dec. 20^th.

Dad also let me know that he would make a list for me for work to do around their house for the next 2 weeks. I let him know that I would think upon the list. It did not take him long to realize that that was all I was going to do. So, it was very amusing to have things come up and not react and just play along with him.

I will help them if I can but it will not be out of guilt or to please him. It will be because I want to. They are so funny when I approach the whole thing from neutral mind. He was an engineer when he worked, and that kind of preciseness is fun to play with. Life is becoming more and more fun! I tend to wing it with loose plans nowadays since that works best for me. That does not always go over well with some family members who have been trained as engineers.

The fun has begun in just being me and having a blast since I am not buying into the drama around me but observing it, and sending heart breath, and I do have lots of compassion! Everyone has their own path and lesson to learn. I do care very deeply about others and can help them in my own way. They have their own stuff to do and learn, and I cannot do it for them. And also I do not have that level of knowledge or skills, so I just send love, listen and then have so much fun being child-like!

Sat Nam,

Atma Karam

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