Amrit's Story

MY BLESSINGS

Life is a journey. Your Soul is your Destiny. It’s never about the journey, the joys , the challenges, the traumas or the worries. We will all get to our destinies eventually. BUT IT IS ALL ABOUT HOW YOU GET THERE!! If you live your life in constant resistance to change, to growth, to the ever changing unknown, your challenges and struggles will be great and constant. If you choose to take your journey with grace and Trust and Surrender, your challenges may be great but you will move quicker and easier, and clearing and healings will prevail. My story is told to trigger you, to challenge you, to inspire you and finally to release and heal you. Hold my hand and we will walk with Grace on our journey.

My name is anybody:

For as long as I can remember I just always knew I was protected, I would always be taken care of, I was safe and didn’t have to worry or be afraid. I may not have always understood it but I know it in my heart and soul. I trusted. I believe I came in as an old soul, I was always too wise for my years. Too knowing, I could see things others couldn’t. I could do things and heal things others couldn’t. I was the child who just knew I could fly. I could feel my wings, but physically I couldn’t see them. Much to my grandfather’s dismay, when I saw Mary Poppins for the first time, I got an umbrella and proceeded to jump out the second story windows expecting to fly, of course only to be frustrated and disappointed when I couldn’t fly. But that never stopped me, I was very determined.

Then at the age of 3, I was sexually molested by someone I was supposed to be able to trust and love. My grandfather! I was forced into dark little corners and dark little rooms in the basement where no one could hear my cries. I would scream and cry when others where around and he would take me, but no one would listen. She is just fussy they would say! By the time I was 5, objects were forced into me. Finally I was in school and would find ways not to go home. I was 6 when I announced I didn’t like it here and I was leaving. I packed my little bag and walked out, everyone laughed but no one stopped me. I made it one city block away and sat on the curb and cried when no one came for me. I went home and slept in the basement. The abuse continued. I could feel my angels drying my tears and telling me they love me, just trust, I will be safe.

I was 8 when my parents separated, my father couldn’t take the abuse from my mother anymore. She got a boyfriend. He took me out to pick up a pizza and molested me. She wouldn’t believe me. I’m just a rotten kid trying to spoil her fun. My sister’s boyfriend took me for a ride on his new minibike when I was 10. I was so excited; then he raped me. I was terrified when I saw the blood. I didn’t bother to tell anyone because no one would believe me, they never did. I kept talking to God and my angels asking, “Why was this happening?” They would shower me in love, dry my tears, tell me they loved me and to trust I was safe. I was being beaten every day, abused, raped and I couldn’t take it anymore, I thought. I swallowed a bottle of aspirin to kill myself. I knew it wouldn’t work in my heart and soul, but I wanted out. God and my angels would not let me go. I had important work to do they said, so I threw up for hours, but nobody noticed.

From that point on I knew that I was alone and no one was going to be there for me (except God and my angels), so I prayed for strength and deep connection to my soul. “Please don’t leave me,” I begged, and they promised they wouldn’t and never did. My sensitivity was great, I could feel peoples' pain, and total strangers would tell me their life stories and I could heal their pain. I now know the word is compassion that I have.

I went to see Brian Weiss and did a past life regression and learned I was never wanted and that was why my birth was difficult. I didn’t want to come out. It explained a lot of things.

The beatings and abuse continued. On my 16^th birthday I hopped a plane to Fort Lauderdale, Florida (I lived in New York), didn’t know a soul but just knew it had to be better than what I was living. Got a job, found a place to live and stayed for 8 months, came home, got beat up, finished school, turned 18 and married my life sweetheart.

At age 21, married and 7 months pregnant, momentary bliss, happiness at last. Then the cycle begins again. Lost my baby (a girl) at 7.5 months pregnant. One year later divorced. Age 25 married again, lost 4 more pregnancies, 2 sets of twins, 2 individuals = total 7 babies. I always knew from a young child that if I didn’t have kids by the time I was 30, I never would. I never did. In my 30^th year I had a complete hysterectomy. It was this or die, couldn’t die yet, had important work to do. So much for bliss.

Three near death experiences and many more life challenges. Here we come to August 1, 2007. I am now an acupuncture physician, massage therapist, kundalini yoga instructor, just opened my public clinic and teaching at the university, getting ready to start at Bastyr University for my PHD and my second medical doctor as a naturopath physician. Watch out here it comes again, that same cycle and God and my angels telling me to trust and know that I am safe. Surrender they say!

Driving home from my clinic on 8/1/2007 having my nightly talk with God and saying I am getting too far off my spiritual path and do not want to do corporate America anymore blah, blah, blah. Well I no sooner finished my sentence and BAM I was hit from behind while I was sitting at a red light. I sustained a brain injury, spinal injuries and the list goes on. A cop I dated and broke off with in 2003, still stalks me, burglarized my house, forced himself on me and continues to get away with it. On it goes!

Do I know what happened you ask? YES, I do. My life was moving too fast for me to catch up to me, so I had to be slowed down, I had many more lessons to learn, many more things to be taught. I have almost lost my life 3 times, my brain, my spinal and movement, my home, job, dogs etc… and yet I love fully, trust completely, surrender without resistance and believe in miracles beyond a shadow of a doubt. I am very positive and grateful.

You ask, “Where are your blessings? You titled this ‘My Blessings.’” Well I tell you ALL my challenges are my blessings, they gave me the constant opportunity to live, to love, to learn compassion, to heal and to clear. Also to grow beyond whatever I thought I could. I never let my challenges identify me, or blame those that hurt me. I prayed for them to find their way and sent them love and forgiveness. They taught me invaluable lessons. I do not hate them. I am not bitter or angry. SURPRISED? Yes sometimes me too! Just remember God was always with me, telling me to trust, surrender and know I am safe, so I did blindly every step of the way.

That is why I say TRAUMAS are your triggers to hit your reset buttons. Clearing is the KEY to healing, and Worry is the rehearsing for the worst. TRUST and SURRENDER completely and totally, you will grow beyond anything that you can imagine. I do my sadhanas as best I can, I do the Miracle Mantra, the Magic Mantra, the Lifeforce Mantra. My Kara is engraved with the Miracle mantra and the Mool Mantra.

I keep my life clear of as much negativity as possible and help as many people as I can. I try to PAY IT FORWARD as much as I can and I wait for the day when I can do what this important thing is that God tells me about and am eternally grateful to YOGI BHAJAN, GURU RAM DAS, and BABA SIRICHAND for the love, healing, and miracles they bestow upon me daily. I am truly grateful and humbled to be in this world and this life at this time of evolution. We are the witness to the most amazing miracle of all at this time. See the joys not the fears and pain.

I hope this triggers you to heal, grow and blossom into all the incredible beings that you all are.

Sat Nam, with all my love and blessings

Amrit Kaur

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